How the fight started

[fisher]

My wife and I were watching Who Wants To Be A Millionaire while
we were in bed.

I turned to her and said, 'Do you want to have $ex?'

'No,' she answered. I then said,

'Is that your final answer?'

She didn't even look at me this time, simply saying, 'Yes..'

So I said, "Then I'd like to phone a friend."

And that's when the fight started...

Cheers Fisher

[Lance B]

Haha! Very good.

Here's a good approach for your wife when you want to do the "deed":
Walk in and offer her a Panadol. When she says she doesn't have a headache, then you say, "Well, that's one excuse out of the way". :D

Here's a few others from the "that's when the fight started" catalogue:
1. My wife sat down on the settee next to me as I was flipping channels. She asked, 'What's on TV?'
I said, 'Dust.'

And then the fight started...

2.. I rear-ended a car this morning.. So, there we were alongside the road and slowly the other driver got out of his car. You know how sometimes you just get soooo stressed and little things just seem funny? Yeah, well I couldn't believe it.... He was a DWARF!!! He stormed over to my car, looked up at me, and shouted, "I AM NOT HAPPY!!!"
So, I looked down at him and said, "Well, then which one are you?"

And then the fight started.....

9.. My wife and I were sitting at a table at her school reunion, and she kept staring at a drunken bloke swigging his drink as he sat alone at a nearby table.
I asked my wife, 'Do you know him?'
'Yes,' she sighed, 'He's my old boyfriend and I understand he took to drinking right after we split up those many years ago, and I hear he hasn't been sober since.'
'My God!' I said, 'who would think a person could go on celebrating that long?'

And then the fight started...

[fisher]

Hi , I think you have the same list as me Lance.

One year, I decided to buy my mother-in-law a cemetery plot as
a Christmas gift...

The next year, I didn't buy her a gift.

When she asked me why, I replied,

"Well, you still haven't used the gift I bought you last year!"

And that's how the fight started.....


I took my wife to a restaurant.

The waiter, for some reason, took my order first.

"I'll have the rump steak, rare, please."

He said, "Aren't you worried about the mad cow?"

"Nah, she can order for herself."

And that's when the fight started.....

My wife sat down next to me as I was flipping channels.

She asked, "What's on TV?"

I said, "Dust."

And then the fight started...

[mpb]

I asked my wife, 'Where do you want to go for our anniversary?'

It warmed my heart to see her face melt in sweet appreciation. 'Somewhere I haven't been in a long time!' she said.

So I suggested, 'How about the kitchen?'

And that's when the fight started....

[Bennymiata]

My mother-in-law was out of work so I got her a job I thought she was most suited for.

A test pilot for a broom factory....

Then the fight started.

[geoffsta]

I said to my wife "would you like to go upstairs for a hour or so, sweety"
"Oh" She said "you haven't been so spontaneous for many years honey"
"I don't want to bonk you" I said "The footy is on"
That's when the fight started

[Mark L]

I was laughing at this thread when my wife asked "what's so funny?"
So I let her read it.
She said "they're not funny."
"Yes they are."
And that's .....................

[mpb]

My wife asked me to take her photo.

I said "wait a minute while I get my wide angle lens".

And you know the rest.

[Lance B]

These are great, guys! :)

[dbax]

My wife was considering buying a new car
I asked "what type" she liked
she said " something that will take me from 0 to 100 in 2 seconds"
Next morning I told her there was a surprise in the driveway
Imagine her surprise when she ran down the front stairs to find a set of bathroom scales ..........
thats when the fight started.............

[fisher]

Saturday morning I got up early, quietly dressed, made my
lunch, and slipped quietly into the garage. I hooked up the
boat up to the van and proceeded to back out into a torrential
downpour. The wind was blowing 50mph, so I pulled back into the
garage, turned on the radio, and discovered that the weather
would be bad all day.

I went back into the house, quietly undressed, and slipped back
into bed. I cuddled up to my wife's back; now with a different
anticipation, and whispered, "The weather out there is terrible."

My loving wife of 5 years replied, "And, can you believe my
stupid husband is out fishing in that?"

And that's how the fight started...

[Bennymiata]

My wife asked me if her new outfit made her look fat.
I said no, this new outfit does not make you look fat.
It's all the cream cakes and lollies that make you look fat.

Then the fight started...................

[Bennymiata]

After being married for fifty years ... my wife asked me to describe her.

I looked at her slowly...then said, "You're A, B, C, D, E, F, G, H, I, J, K."
She asked .... "What does that mean?"

I said, "Adorable, Beautiful, Cute, Delightful, Elegant, Foxy, Gorgeous, Hot."
She smiled happily and said...."Oh, that's so lovely.....What about I, J, K?"

I said, "I'm Just Kidding!"

And then the fight began.

My eye is still swollen....but it will get better.............