Retirement. Any tips?

[Hawthy]

Those of you who are retired, I am seeking your advice.

I am 56 and my wife is 61. We are looking to retire in a couple of years. In my current job, I can work from home but I find that I go stir crazy if I spend all day at home, so I will usually find a customer to visit at some stage or a reason to go into the office. My job pays well. I have great employers. I am pretty much left to my own devices. I am a little bored but still enjoy it. We can afford to retire in two years, I think.

My wife's parents both died in their 60's so she is keen to retire and travel and enjoy life before her imaginary life expectancy. Plenty of her relatives lived into their 90's so I think that she will be around for years yet. I come from a line of people who live well into their 90's. My 91-year old mother only decided this week to stop helping out at the local school three days a week because her balance is letting her down. So, we both may be around for 30-40 years or so. My inability to sit still for a single day currently worries me.

My wife tells me that I can fish, play golf, and take photos to fill in my day.

I really want to understand how retired people fill their day and if they regret retiring too early or too late. I have had conversations with people who think that the greatest aspect of retiring is being able to sleep in until noon. That worries me.

[Glenda]

You have to have an interest, that is a must IMO. We like to travel so we have been combining one OS trip plus a longer Aus one each year. We bought a caravan for Aus so we're doing the grey nomad thing - although I prefer the term geriatric gypsy :D. We try to do one longer trip plus a few shorter ones each year. There's a hell of a lot of places to see in this large country of ours.

At home you have to find an interest you enjoy. My husband likes golf - I hate it. But we volunteer for a couple of organisations I do our local tourist info centre and library. I love the idea of your Mum volunteering at the school but knowing we can't commit to the whole year I chose areas where that wouldn't matter so much. We also do a local seniors fitness class weekly when in town. I think the most important thing is doing something which gets you out and interacting with others. When at home I enjoy reading and improving my PP skills. In our summer you definitely need some activities you can do indoors.

If you doubt your ability to enjoy retirement can you change to part time ie drop from 5 to 3 days per week. After I stopped work full time I still taught music privately for some years so had my days free and just taught after school 4 days per week. Gordon took his long service leave before retiring to see how he would go.

I'm sure we all know people who kept putting retirement off only to get sick, or even worse, immediately after. My sister-in-law retired in her mid 50s and now, 8 years later is undergoing chemo for cancer which has dramatically changed their lives. There is no history of cancer in my husband's family yet both he and his youngest brother have had it. Luckily my husband is good so far, his brother, still in his early 50s hasn't been so lucky with a return of his. IMO life is too short and you never know what is around the corner so you need to enjoy it which could mean staying at your job you obviously enjoy in your case. Only you can decide.

[ameerat42]

1. ID things you have not been able to do while at work.
(Read War and Peace - backwards; learn a ξένη γλώσσα.)
2. (I have heard it's good to) do volunteering for 1 or 2 periods a week.
...
...
n. Enjoy it.

PS: Add near the top of the list...
- Keep away from financial advisors of any sort (so long I had almost forgotten: their advice is
inevitably how to feather their own nests at your expense)...
- Do not subscribe to any sort of annuity (for the same reasons)...
- Eschew funeral funds - keep you own...

And add to the list in penultimate position...
- n-1. Keep healthy.

[Tannin]

Excellent advice from Glenda. In particular, her recommendation to phase gently into it by going part-time for a few years. You may find it suits you so well that you stay semi-retired for 10 years or more. I was semi-retired for about 5 or 6 years and there is a lot to recommend it.

Don't retire from. Retire to. If you are retiring because you don't want to work anymore - bad idea. If you are retiring because you want to play more golf or take up woodcarving, or grow the best roses in the street, or travel with your camera - good idea. Retire because you want to do something.

Have a clear idea of what it is you want to do. Once retired you are completely your own master, can do exactly as you like, when you like. You are not constrained by having to go to the office every Monday. There is nothing to regulate and order your week. One day is the same as any other day. There are two dangers here.

One is obvious: not having enough in the way of goals. Beware just sitting around and doing nothing in particular. That's a good way to an unmemorable life and an early death. People who retire and just stop doing stuff usually drop dead. But you know that.

The other is less obvious: having too many goals. This is the one I am struggling with: there are so many things I want to do that I divide my time between too many of them and don't achieve a lot of progress on any one of them and wind up feeling frustrated and discouraged, which leads to a bit of sitting around doing nothing. I can think of at least 20 (yes, honestly at least 20) things I want to do, and they are all good, sensible things or memorable fun things, and most of them are sensible and fun. But I really need to get better at picking one and sticking to it, even if only for a week at a time, rather than floating around like a butterfly doing a bit of this and a bit of that. Back when I was working, this wasn't an issue: my customers decided what I would do every working day (by placing orders for this thing or another thing), and because non-working days were rare and precious, I usually had them "pre-booked" with things I wanted to do. Now that there is so much choice, it's not so simple.

I'll stop talking now and go and sit out the back with a cup of tea enjoying the rosellas enjoying the sunflowers, and decide which of about 7 things I will do today. With any luck, it will be a tough decision and I'll need a second cuppa before it's made.

[Floribunda]

It is an interesting question Andrew and ultimately only one you can answer.
My husband retired at 55 - too young we thought at the time, but brought about by job dis-satisfaction. As he was at a senior level our financial situation was comfortable, but like you, at the time I worried how we would fill our days.
Fears have proved groundless and the retirement years have been the happiest of our lives.

My main point would be to make quite sure that you are happy with your financial set-up. As you say, there could be many years of retirement ahead.
Secondly, you do have to find other interests. And NEW interests. There may be something lurking in the back of your mind that you have always wanted to do, but never had the time. Retirement is a good time to pursue it. In my case it was photography, which has now developed into a pastime that both hubby and I enjoy and can be incorporated into travel and walking (exercise). It could even be further study - many possibilities arise.
There is plenty of opportunity for volunteer work - beware it becoming a commitment.
Travel of course, if that is your thing. Overseas travel IMHO is hard work, so do that first and then Oz will still be there for later on.
We have never regretted retiring early - health problems may very well eventuate, so there is a lot of merit in getting out there and doing it early.
To sum it up, we looked at retirement as a chance for new experiences looking forward and enjoying each day, not looking too far ahead.
Good luck with your decision.

[fillum]

Do you own a bicycle ? If not, buy one. (If you do, buy another one !!)
Ride it. Find a local group to ride with. Can't recommend this enough....

MAMILs (https://vimeo.com/233252697)

[mudman]

don't wear a watch

[bobt]

I think you are sensible to look at this before leaping into it. Once you jump there is often no turning back.

One of the key issues to investigate is how it will impact your relationship. I have seen many marriages come under stress because the whole balance of the relationship changes. If a wife is used to having the home to herself, and suddenly finds a spouse cluttering up the place, it can lead to territorial issues. Some couples don't fare well when faced with sudden increases in one-on-one time! Secondly, no matter how well you get on you both need independent interests. There will come a time when one of you dies, and at that point each one needs to have their own independent life to continue. Sounds bleak, but it's true.

When you get to this end of life you have to consider the end game as well as the retirement phase. I have a very close marriage and when one of us dies it will be hell for the other. Couples who are not as close don't enjoy the closeness of the retirement phase but cope better when it all goes pear shaped.

They say that money doesn't buy happiness, but it does buy a pretty good replica! Making sure that you have a realistic assessment of how your finances will fare in retirement is a must! Having all day to do stuff but no money to do anything with that time is frustrating, and won't help you enjoy life. We all have different expectations, but we do need to know about funding our future. Financial advisers are generally total crap. I would strongly recommend subscribing to the Super Guide Newsletter for independent superannuation advice - it's an excellent and informative free publication. https://www.superguide.com.au/newsletter I also subscribe to Money Magazine which has useful advice. This whole area is very, very important to understand, although if you understand the whole superannuation and tax system you're doing better than I am!! Where your money comes from is different for all of us, but making sure it will continue to flow is essential.

As for what you do with your time, you do need lots of options, otherwise you'll just hang around like a bad smell. I joined a real world camera club and got involved. As Secretary my time gets taken up to a large extent, so it's important to have other avenues rather than just one. You need to foster your circles of friends - they are very important. You need to maintain your family connections and you need to maintain your health.

Others have suggested a phased retirement, and if this is an option I'd go for it! Like anything new, retirement needs a transitional period if possible.

I like to write, I like to take photographs and I have a "to do" list that never gets shorter. Just make sure that you can afford to retire and that you can fill the void that will appear where your working life once was.

[Hawthy]

Thanks for the advice everybody. Greatly appreciated.:th3:

[Snooks]

Retiring is sort of scary and I was always used to do something, working six days and also running an online shop.

I am 57 in a few days, only young, but forced into retirement due to health issues. It caught us unexpected so money is pretty short, but we cope. The wife is a rock and nothing deters her, she can make the best out of anything.

The honest truth .......... I now wonder how the hell I had time to work in the first place. lol



Darts - I have a slightly developmentally challenged son of 30 that was born with bone issues, 32 major operations on his feet as they were upside down and back to front at birth. Every other joint in his body is affected in some way and too technical and boring to explain, but look at the shape of his hands in the photo and you will see what I mean. He can run, he has a funny gait when he walks and gets aches and pains but the kid is amazing. After owning an online dart shop from 2004 - 2016 we started playing darts in December last year. (Our first game, I kid you not) We love the game and now play2-3 evenings per week in organized comps. In between time he runs a small lawn mowing business (with my guidance), so I potter around and help him, I drive him there because he can't drive, so I get to assist in the edging or cutting of around 6 gardens per week.
Hold Em Poker - We both love playing tournament Poker, Michael won the New Brighton Pro Am $8000 a couple of years back, not bad for a kid that could barely count before playing poker and now calculates using 4 figure numbers a bit better than i can.
Volunteer Shower Bus for the homeless - My eldest son is the NSW Co-Ordinator for a Vic based charity that operates numerous events and activities for the homeless and needy. Tim runs he Mobile Shower Bus, they move from location to locations where meal services are provided and the bus is equipped to provide showers for the needy. Clean and private cubicles, the bus holds over 1000 litres of water and collects and stores the waste water for responsible disposal. I assist him a couple of hours per day for 2-3 days per week, depending what is happening. It has opened my eyes and made me a by far better person. Many families are only 2 or 3 pay checks away from being homeless..... it is so scary.
I now have 2 grandchildren courtesy of Tim and his partner. Man....kids are ok but Grandkids are the best. Nothing they can do annoys me, absolutely love them to death and I get to see them every couple of days and have the privilege of being very involved in their life. Like how good is that? :) It's awesome.
Photography - Well I am hoping to squeeze that in somewhere, probably midnight to 2am one night per week. RAFLMAO


So yeh......what the hell. Retirement didn't work out great financially but i'm having a ball, I don't get time to get bored and I have a way better and active social life than I ever did when I was working.

Retirement just means not working a full time job and being too short on time to do anything that is not fun.

Embrace it my friend :)

137107 137108 137109

[Tannin]

That was a wonderful post, Snooks. A great story, and so well told. Thankyou.

[cupic]

Retirement in some cases is just as tough as working ...ie you have to work out how to manage yourselves adequately to live comfortable

[aussirose]

Yes. Hubby and I are going through the same dilemma. Hubby wants to retire in 2 years. I will still be working. He is 59 and I am 57. Thank goodness I am now working at home 3 days a week. I work for a Bank and they have recently introduced working from home which is fantastic. The best bit is that I can expect hubby to take over most of the house work and some cooking. Gee he's in for a shock haha. But we are already planing to move to Penang when I finally retire. So much cheaper and better lifestyle. So there's a thought for you.